The Last Machinima Gaga article.

…for a while.

I’ve been in a state, missing deadlines, releasing articles with out screenshots I’ve scrawled over with MS paint; booting up the internet and then not instantly logging into #Machinima; I don’t even watch all the movies uploaded to Warcraft Movies under Machinima anymore, just the rated stuff! If I didn’t keep my antlers so immaculate wouldn’t recognize my self in the mirror.

But I’ll be dirty dirty gnome before I let my blog fizzle out, I’m going out with a bang! Hopefully one with so much bang that I get over my burn out and have an article ready for Thursday! So, y’know, when I say for a while, I mean a month tops.

…or maybe a day if Paus figures out my true identity and arrives at my door stop with the thumb screws.

So here’s the bang I’m going out on! The Article I’ve always wanted to write!

WHY REDSHIFT IS BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU PUT TOGETHER!!!

And here’s the article I’m ACTUALLY writing for today:

The Gnome Chewer Collection!

Gnome Chewer is the personality in the Machinima community that knows how to get the most out of WoW.exe files. Gnome Chewer can make characters alive in ways we’d never expect someone to, and through that create some truly memorable works.

And some works that are just bloiting rubbish, but we quickly forget about them.

And as Gnome Chewer is back after his long absence this is the perfect occasion for a silly long article. 

Humble Beginnings

The collection starts with the humble beginning of February 2007, so we can feel sorry for the author for struggling at first so we don’t hate him at the end of the collection for being a smart arse.

Gnome Chewer started where anyone else would: Taking audio from movies, trailers, commercials, and putting a WoW visual to it. His first movie, Men In Black 2 was such so same old that it could have fit into the Same Old Machinima Home For The Elderly, and his two next movies GEICO and Teen Witch Rap looked like more of them same same old normal machinima, but did have hints of the trade marks that would later make Gnome Chewer very identifiable.

Unlike MIB2 Gnomechewer put the wow people into the modern world, and most of all put up Modle Viewer Made Posters, seeing a blood elf sitting in first class is a tantalizing glimpse at what’s to come from gnome chewer. In Teen Witch Rap he again does something generic, but for some reason that is beyond mere mortals and sober people he added an extra layer by turning it into a VCR video. In retro spec it should have been obvious that Gnome Chewer has a thirst for giving media a presence in his… media.

A mind blowing wrench in the machine  

Then, up and down the internet, minds were blown: In Memoriam Northwatch Hold. Literally, brains splattered on walls, PC monitors got all gookie. What? You didn’t hear about this? If it happened why wasn’t it on the news? Because every news channel producer in the world was a fan of machinima, the entire race was wiped out for a day and THAT is why you didn’t hear about this movie killing millions of people with its awesome-ness.

Okay, so that’s a wincy bit of a hyperbole.

But the movie really grabbed the community’s attention. I still think to this day that Gnome Chewer produced the most striking opening ever given to a Machinima by making the opening look like a bucket of rubbish. And it’s just so cleaver: At the beginning we can see the jittery fraps work, the names over the characters and clumbsy fades to title screens that plagued the low quality Machinima of the time. Watching this opening the viewer has no doubt that was she or he is looking at is a group of players playing world of warcraft.

But then it all dissolves. We see a lone guard stumble upon the carnage that we, the players, have put on northwatch. He stands there in shock with his back exposed for 13 seconds. Gnome Chewer knows what’s going to happen, we know what’s going to happen, heck, even Illidan could have seen these coming and he managed to get betrayed by every living being he ever met.

Gnome chewer holds the moment and lets the music, oh sweet elune the music! fade over the image of the dyeing man at rest, and he is pulled upright into the body of his living self. In that moment the game has gone, no more task bars, no more fraps, no more guild names with typos. We’re now in Azeroth. We’re shown all these photos and documents that Gnome Chewer created from scratch to show this man’s life in a completely new way, and well done! The photos and documents are all that’s left of this man now, and in the actual game these things don’t even exist. It’s really powerful to see both Azeroth and the Guard being expanded on in this striking visual way.

I say Machinima is the art of coupling the familiar with the alien, this is exactly what I mean.

I could say the memorable devolve from fraps to something more symbolizes Gnoemchewers change into some one who goes far beyond the norm, but that’s not really true, he never truly leaves the poorly made frapsed opening as he never feels the need to use voice actors or scripts, although he claims this is because he sand every one he’s ever met sounds like a maul with a cold I think it’s because he’s found his footing in this style of Machinima. A footing so firm he could build a theme park on it.

Odd Things!

There wasn’t really a massive follow through of uber Machinima, before Gnome Chewer’s next Big Block Buster he toyed with things as all artists must. The movies where by no means perfect, or some not even good, but they are all oddly memorable.

The last action crusader was just a fun joke, but did show Gnome chewer’s fascination with the scarlet crusade for the first time. The shaman video is just, really odd. But I think that’s the point, it’s just a shame it isn’t a good point. All the same it explores and expresses a culture in wow, in much the same way Northwatch explored the NPCs of Northwatch, (something he will do a lot of) these are shamans. Shamans are weird. 

The Unjoy of Death is nice, sweet. It also seems like a continuation of Northwatch, but a good one. Thanks to Gnome Chewer’s soon to be loved crazytalk, a ghost of a man laments the unjoys of death by possessing other dead things that still remain. Pictures of him self, statues, and also nature: the grass, the sky. Poetic.

RIGHT! Good stuff again!

Gnomechewer created a kick ass warcraft war movie about kicking warcraft ass in time for 2007’s Christmas! Action! Blood! (Gnome chewer loves blood, and because of this movie I love that he loves blood) All war movies need the cliché war marines that are uniform yet absolute bad-***** with opinions and back stories that are all exactly the same! But Gnomechewer sticks to his no voice acting policy and instead gives us the bad-ass marines in his own way. The best part of the movie in my opinion is when we see the dwarf pilot’s locker. If you’re asking your self what is the Gnome Chewer flavor? It is a dwarf’s locker with a poster signed by Gimli: Gnome Chewer’s art within Machinima. Horde Kills scratched into the metal of flying machines; writing inspirational messaged with draenei blood, a poster behind Warcheif Thrall’s throne Promoting, Warchief Thrall.

Trivia: We see a hall way walk that’s almost identical to the GIECO advert and a small hint at a future movie with a please stand by screen displayed.

It’s a romp in Gnomechewer’s unique presentation of Azeroth!

Less testosterone filled is The Crimson Sisters Of The Scarlet Flame which shows Gnome chewer diving into an exploration of the scarlet crusade with a little inspiration from Warhammer 40K. Gnome chewer uses his grainy old movie look, which almost makes it feel like this Machinima is a documentary or a political film within Azeroth. With the aid of his grainy camera and red colour pallet Gnome chewer takes a real good look at the zealot feel of the scarlet crusade, which he’s perfect for: He can make promotional posters, zealots love promotional posters. Horray! Gnome Chewer draws out the film, giving it a slow feel which is both a blessing and a curse to the Machinima.

Gnome Chewer dose say that this is one of his “What if” Machinimas, but it does seem to hit the nail on the head with the hammer that never lies. Sure the scarlet crusade isn’t all female, but other than that it’s true, the Warhammer 40K reverences aren’t there because Gnome chewer’s lazy, they’re there because it’s a good parallel. 

Ballard of the Blood sail is like The Crimson Sisters, but completely different. Not only has it got a completely different subject, it has a different tone and presentation. Gnome Chewer explores the blood sails and the steamwheel cartel in much the same way he did for the Scarlet Crusade (Y’know, gore n’ stuff) but he goes about it completely differently: this is a harsh pirate tale of pirate life (Most of Pirate Life consists of Pirate Death) Confiding it to a comic book was such an original and bizarre idea; although the life of the blood sail is fun with all the bar wenches and pillaging, it’s not very comic when you get caught and hung. Gnome Chewer has a fun sense of humor ^^ 

Standing in the way of control is a machinima that from its release has really been stuck in my head. For some reason I remember Moo-money’s Movie Watch article on it too, weird huh? I like it not just because it is something that it so different visually, but because it’s a celebration of us! The common adventurer that saves the day on a daily basis. Gnome Chewer addresses us in much the same way he did in Northwatch, but this is a happy happy thing was you let the music and art and action remind you of how awesome you are at saving the world.

(Unless you count that time you killed that innocent person in Dragon Blight or brought the most evil being from military history back to life in shadowmoon valley)  

Addressing the common wow player and saying “OI! This is you!” is just a great thing I just don’t know why more people don’t try to do it.

Cookies 4 u is nice. Lower city gets the Gnome Chewer attention. Alliance and horde getting along, world peace in lower city, woo!

Trivia: We see Gnomechewer’s fascination with Keal’thas for the first time, and more hints towards his Pilgrims plight film. Also, space Dwarf is never seen again.

(Notice as I get later into Sunday night my review get shorter?)

The Best Gnome Chewer Movies!

…are conveniently both made in the summer of 2008 (This is all in chronological order by the way) First of is one of the absolute Gnome Chewer Classics:

There Will Be Cannibalism. Gnome Chewer’s gore potential is realized as he has Forsaken chewing on a captive; not only that but Gnome Chewer’s internal media (posters n’ stuff) takes a second step as he makes puppets! We know there must be puppets in wow, has blizzard bothered to show us any? No! Gnome Chewer goes the extra mile.   Not only does he show us a media with in Azeroth we’ve not seen enough of before, he shows us an aspect of a culture we’ve not seen before: Forsaken being bloiting evil and having sadist fun as they eat their captive.  Gnome Chewer can touch upon things Bizzard just can’t, and because of it he’s managed to sum up the Forsaken race to a T in just one Machinima.

Oh! And isn’t the music good? It will ruin your mind trying to figure out where you’ve heard it from you know. That’s the beauty of the perverce tune to the perverce content, Notice how Gnome Chewer pretends to have removed even gorier scenes? It all so evil the video quality it’s self seems to have decayed! Love Gnome Chewer work. I want that Scarlet Crusade poster on my wall.

The Best Ever Gnome Chewer Movie:

Is gone.

Sorry! Copy write and all that, it got pulled down.

…

What?

You’re still here?

…

Okay-Okay, just because you’re such good readers, I did some searching and found a site that still had it: http://vimeo.com/1215719 You better leave a constructive comment after this!

Okay so it’s Vimeo and didn’t take much searching but it was a goodly 5 minutes. Time is Money and Money is limited edition Whowho action figures!

Back In Your Head!

It’s post modern Azeroth! The media, the face book pages, the internet! Azeroth’s internet! Photo booth pictures! Photographs! Videos! Gnome chewer when full out and showed us Jaina’s relationships not only in a completely new and original way (How many times do I have to say original before it seems run of the mill?) but also stunningly well. The song isn’t that good, but the video shows us in silent dignity the troubles the characters go through, and we don’t even need to see a lot of it: We don’t see all the gossip and scandal we associate with today’s high profile relationships, but show us a magazine with a picture and quote on it and there you go!

Gnome Chewer en-riches his settings with more than action. Gnome Chewer’s characters leave their marks, and the marks alone speak louder than any voice actor could (You’d damage the microphone for one thing)

 I could give Gnome Chewer my opinion on what will help him make a good machinima (He wasn’t lying on his recent return when he said he was rusty) but really all he needs to do is sit down, level an alt and see what parts of the game interest him enough to expand. In fact any Machinimator could do it, just ask your self what parts of Azeroth exist but aren’t shown to you by Bizzard.

BROTHELS DON’T COUNT BONKEY!

... but if you really want an idea: Ugly Keal'thas stalking an unknowing Jaina whist singing this. It's just, creepy; Ugly Keal'thas creepy. 

Yeah, I know I’m only half way through his movies (His good movies, you should see the things I’ve skipped) But this is already the 5^th page! Right, this is certainly a big enough bang (Blowing up the world tree? Hmmm, maybe next time I take a brake)  I’m going to hop on my epic mount and spend a holiday in Booty Bay and enjoy the fruits of this year’s Brewfest for a while, keep the Machinima community warm whilst I’m gone! 

(Notice that out of all my articles it wasn't until the first last article that I finally figured out how to use the Myndflame head line colours ^^ I was just having waay too much fun to notice!) 

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