So Baron took me to France

As soon as you hear a certain meme repeating it’s self over and over again you know you’re in for something by a certain Soosdon. [Link]

So I was enjoying my vacation, I was sitting on Darkshore’s beach one night watching the waves washing in and away, and the tranquil lights of Treldrasil twinkling in the distance. When BARONSOODON drove a BOAT onto my foot! I’m a night elf! My feet are already big enough to plant and farm parsnips on! I don’t need a boat to make them ANY BIGGER!

So I ask Baron why he was on a F**king boat, and he said that he and his flippy floppies wanted a review for his NEW machinima! So I told him that he can bugger off back to his apartment In The Mountains because I’m on holiday!

Then he managed to say (With great effort as his primitive orchish tusks kept him from talking in anything other than references and in jokes) That I’d be in the movie.

After painting Baron’s house, buying him an epic mount, and announcing him the second sexiest guy on Azeroth in thank you I walked down to his set to have not one, but FOUR cameos (One of them is very tiny, I’ll have you know that I am NOT a tiny man! I’m 8 feet tall and purple) 

Baron was all “Let’s go to France!” And I was all “Oh no no no, France is full of French people, I gave the French people a bad review and now I’m perma-banned from their forums”

But baron said something about turning into gnomes or something and that’s when it became obvious to me (Because I’m smart y’know) that this wasn’t just a documentary but an adventure! The bending between documentary fact and crazy ass fiction was due to Baron being dammed cleaver about narrative, also, the Troll Voodoo stuff we ate down in the air port terminal might have had something to do with it.

On the motorbike trip Baron was talking to me in Orcish, which is a horrible language where each and every word is to do about how they killed Cenarius and how fun it was. The gits. But, remembering that time he tried to speak Darnassan to order a hot dog and it came out as “Hay! Blowing up the world tree sounds like a great idea!” It was nice to hear him talking directly to me without shame of his ugly ascent.

It was on the trip that he told me that we were going to a party for Obilith, I was relieved to hear that the event had something to do with a Machinimaster as us working together enriches our community and keeps a distance between us and the dirty riffraff that is the muggles who would get their dirty hands all over my fabulous antlers.

France it’s self was a funny place! I managed to stay there all day without giving some PvE movie guy a bad review causing him to puke in his toilet!  Before I got to the party I needed to pay some people to tell me how awesome I am (As I do each morning) But! Not having any Euros I had to rob a stray gnome of his cloths, hat and 160 gold.  With my ego filled I explored France to see that it was very much like home! Except with some tacky differences like that pointy tower supper glued to everywhere, I found this quite amusing and charming and really made me question what was real and what was not and what Baron had feed me that morning. Despite the visual crazyness *ahem* Le Crazyness, France felt a lot with home, more so when the homely Rickroll approached me on the street, ah I could be back in Darkshore e-mail pictures of myself to Baron for all I knew, it was nice to find something familiar in this strange new place Baron had taken me.

At the party venue it’s self I found Baron again and he was explaining to me about the event, it was very interesting! But then he stopped because he thought he might bore me and wondered over to Paris to past the time. I of course followed him so that I had someone I could ask about how wonderful I am without the need of a French phrase book. We quickly bumped into an adventure with two gnome girls that Baron asked me to film for his private Machinima collection. It was a fun event and lightened the mood greatly.

We returned to the party venue and saw Obilith there in person, and it was weird seeing him outside of the Model viewer studio: he was real, and actually had his famous purple cloths. I felt like Baron had given me an insight into the secret life of a Machinimaster. Baron pointed out all the fun things that were going on at the party and made it seem really appealing! I would certainly come again next year and join in, but Baron stopped me from playing with the gnomes because he was busy showing me snippets of his own movies, and I was happy to have an insight to his upcoming project concerning XT-002.

BECAUSE I’M GOING TO BE IN THAT MOVIE!

Then it was time for the event to end and to go back to that country that I live in. (You’re not going to find out where I live that easily) I really enjoyed the trip with Baron as I got to see him exercise the things that make him so iconic in a new and interesting way! I hear he has plans of making a second documentary some when in the far future, I hope he’ll take me with him to where ever he’s going again.

Unless it’s Aion! Blegh!

EDIT: So I got back to my log cabin on a cliff in Darkshore, only to found that Baron had posted pictures of me with a cow on the internet! I have no idea where they came from, they are obliviously fake as I am NOT smiling in them and I always look murderously handsome! I am loyal to my Kodo Dona, and as far as I am concerned this is the end of the matter.